Kali's Temple of Doom

Starving Writer? Never!

2009-11-07T16:37:00.002-05:00

Here’s the thing… I’m way behind here and while cooking is a great creative release, I don’t have the time. I have to catch up!!! So instead of TJ’s, I stopped at the Family Store.

If I am not cooking (and I won’t make Mom cook on the weekend to humor my whims, though she would because she is always supportive of my artistic pursuits), then Sam Dabas is on deck. And I trust Sam and his food choices explicitly. In fact, I’d hand him money and take a mystery bag if he suggested it because he has never steered me wrong.

Last night we had his lobster lasagna, creamy and a little spicy, with big and succulent chunks of crustacean. The side dish was blanched string beans with roasted onions and peppers in a subtly divine virgin olive oil dressing – velvety and just perfect.

Tonight we will feast on jumbo grilled shrimp with Sam’s rémoulade, a garlic potato salad with black olives and a lemony roasted eggplant salad.

I can play the role of crazed novelist, but I will never be a starving writer!

I wrote a couple of chapters last night and already started a third. I skipped a few scenes I thought would be part of the story, but the characters seem to have rejected my idea. Whatever.

Embracing lunacy

2009-11-05T22:48:00.002-05:00

Mom will buy me a journal from time to time because I love them and a girl needs to have plenty of blank space into which to unburden her sorrows, record her joys or invent creatively as the need arises.

I have a quilted cover journal, with pink tropical flowers painted on it.

It has been sitting there for a bit, doing nothing but collecting dust. But not in a sad way, it was waiting for its turn.

Last night, I prettily wrote out my chapters outline, started my list of characters. I typed in my first chapter and e-mailed to myself. This morning I started my character biographies. I printed chapter 1 and pasted it to my journal. And this afternoon, I sat in a small pizzeria and ate a slice of ’shroom and started writing chapter two.

Then, because one of my leads is a hot firemen, I started flirting with firemen. Yeah, okay, I do that any chance I get…

I am still not all-consumed by the process, but I am enjoying it and the escape is a welcome relaxation. Will I be able to make the 50,000 words? Hmm, I still have 49,065 to go but I also have a weekend to put a good dent in that hole I threw myself into!

NaNoWriMo! NaNoWriMo! NaNoWriMo!

2009-11-02T22:09:00.003-05:00

Every year for a decade, come November 1 I consider NaNoWriMo. I visit their site. I look around. I say to myself, “That sounds like fun! I should write a novel in a month.”

Some years I forget and one well-meaning or sadistic friend reminds me and I consider it. But I usually chicken out before I even get started. This year I actually registered. And I already lost two days! I’m behind, man…

Last night half an idea popped into my head. Not enough to sustain anything more than a short story, perhaps, but I will dare take it to the max.

The story begins with a runaway gurney speeding down the road and the woman on it screaming her lungs out.

There’s a fireman, an explosion, blood and eccentric family members. Somehow, I’m thinking this is going towards fantasy (it’s a really bad idea, I can already tell, but I don’t care). I believe I will be using some of the research I did earlier about a mansion in Staten Island. I have no story yet and it doesn’t matter. I don’t have a title. None of my characters have names.

This has disaster and humiliation written all over it! Oh yeah, I’m writing a novel this November. What are you guys up to?

Dia de los Muertos

2009-11-01T21:17:00.002-05:00

Halloween weekend was pretty good here and I hope you all had a fabulous time as well.

On Friday, I was able to do something I have not done for a while: breathe deeply and freely. I went for three blocks, uphill, in a brisk sprint as if it was the most natural thing in the world. I’m back in fighting form, baby! (Better living through modern chemistry, thank you very much.)

There was a visit to Trader Joe’s, where I did my shopping with red demon horns that light up. The kids’ reactions were priceless. One little girl found it silly and endearing. One little boy stretched out the word cool to a guttural joy that frightened his father more than my infernal imagery. One little by glared at me and shook his head, the instant disapproval in those tiny, judgmental eyes that said, “You are desperately in need of therapy!” You think I’m paranoid, but e did it in the way only a second generation Park Slope Yuppie could. I know what I saw!

Dinner last night: salmon filets stuffed with shrimp, noodles and sautéed spinach with slivered garlic. Tonight: seafood sausage with pesto sauce, and I suspect potatoes (haven’t decided yet). FYI: the rice balls stuffed with Fontina cheese are pretty good. I did not make a marinara sauce for it, but I dipped them in sweet chili sauce…

We capped the weekend by watching “Pageant” and watched the crowning of Miss Gay America – an acceptable replacement to going to the parade in the Village. All I’ll say is that Porkchop rules!

Lil' Pill Kicks My A$$

2009-10-29T21:46:00.003-04:00

Being under the weather brings with it moments that are priceless in their stupidity.

This morning, I awoke to my alarm clock. Why I set it to go to work is beyond me because I knew there was no way I’d make it in the office today. I was sleeping, in great disquiet, about an hour at a clip…

Exhausted, I went to take my meds, and the tiny pill (the last one in the pack) went flying – I must have flinched – and suddenly it banished. I did not hear it hit the floor. So I stood there holding the bag it was in and my tee shirt. I approached the sink. Not in the tee shirt, not on the floor. Nowhere to be seen… Not on top of my bag, not on my jacket, not even inside the cuff on the sleeve. No pill no where…

Frustrated and still sleepy I sat down, almost in tears. I fought for logic when the brain couldn’t handle consciousness. I got so worked up I decided it was better to go take my blood pressure medication before I worked myself into cardiac arrest.

I took out the Advair disk and found the stupid little pill, hiding in the little dimple at the bottom of the plastic bag from the pharmacy. I dragged myself to bed and slumped back in, completely worn out.

I was almost brought to my knees by a bitter little pill smaller than the tip of my ear drum!

Simplicity and elegance in a jiffy

2009-10-25T18:48:00.002-04:00

Dinner tonight will be one of those delights that take less than 20 minutes to put together, cook and serve. The sort of thing that seems like such a lovely, expensive treat -- but would fit perfectly into a hectic weeknight schedule (such as nights when you can barely stand to boil water for pasta). Everyone should have a minimum of 5 such recipes on their repertoire for each season to accommodate for fresh ingredients and still manage a varied diet.

For the side dish, I am sautéing zucchini and a yellow bell pepper with a dash of capers. Cutting the vegetables will probably take longer than anything else I do. The sauté will take about 3-4 minutes.

The centerpiece of dinner is tuna. I am making pan seared yellowfin tuna (ahi). This requires almost no prep and a blink of cooking time. A dash of sea salt, crushed lemon/pepper and into a hot pan for about 2 minutes on each side. (I may add a splash of balsamic at the end and cover for half a minute as I serve, though last night’s mock soy sauce would be perfect here.)

That’s it.

Stir fry does the heart good

2009-10-24T21:46:00.006-04:00

I am enjoying the benefits of bionic antibiotics right now and this will help me get back to fighting form in the next few days. After my doctor’s visit yesterday I was a little shocked that my blood pressure has somehow managed to remain stable, straddling normal. I have been in a snit for what seems like months now and I just realized that the end I had on my cross-hairs is nowhere in sight. So the mild depression – fueled by anger, helplessness and failing health – is not likely to lift soon unless I find new interesting ways to vent my angst.

I suppose part of the credit has to go to Trader Joe’s because I have added so very healthy choices to the weekend menu. And being as tired at the end of the week – more physically defeated and emotionally drained – it makes me gravitate to easy to cook and easy to digest foods.

Tonight’s dinner is my tribute to the global village… Old world, new world, and a substitute to integrate the new realities. Large Argentine red shrimp are rumored to taste like langostino, rich and silky to the tongue (which reminds me of an old half Chilean, half Argentine lover whose memory still makes me quiver). A bag of Asian vegetables includes sugar snap peas, petite green beans, water chestnuts, red bell peppers, carrots, baby corn, broccoli florets and Kikurage mushrooms. The bag comes with a Beijing soy sauce, but since Mom is allergic to soy I am trying out a substitute (mock) soy sauce. I was going to make noodles, but rice is a better choice.

Mock Soy Sauce includes a reduction of broth, balsamic and red wine vinegars, molasses, oil, pepper, and garlic powder. But instead of molasses I am adding a touch of honey.

Living in Irony

2009-10-23T21:54:00.002-04:00

I was just told that my opinion is very important, by someone who will not allow me to finish a sentence.

My doctor says that most of my ailments of late are very likely stress-related. She asked if it was possible to simply eliminate the source of stress. Not without felony charges...

TGIF.

LOL can get your A$$ kicked!

2009-10-22T21:49:00.003-04:00

Three police officers are chit chatting on a side street. One notices a kid wearing a wizard’s hat and grumbles, “Look at this. Halloween is on the thirty-first, pal!”

I mockingly repeat, “Halloween is on the thirty-first… Oh my god, what were you born a narc?!”

The sound of a guffaw echoing down the boulevard makes me take notice.

The tall Latino one is still laughing and asks incredulously, “Did you just call him a narc?”

It’s not like I’m in any shape to run away and sheepishly reply, “Did I say that out loud?”

This is in a nutshell illustrates why I never dated a cop. I say things like that to them. I guess we should all be grateful I didn’t ask if he was going as a pig. You know, on the thirty-first.

Live from Cootie Central

2009-10-16T22:48:00.002-04:00

I awoke today sounding like a car that is just minutes from ending up on cinder blocks. I took my blood pressure meds and some vitamin C, a big glass of water and went back to bed after a healthy coughing fit… But I did not do the nasal spray, I skipped that little piece of sinus therapy and when I awoke again, my sinuses were so incredible stuffed I could have sworn my whole head would fly away were it not connected by a neck. I was the coldest I have been in ages, to the core, yet my skin felt warm.

Party!

My sleep kept getting interrupted by one racquet or another. Mostly it was me, gasping for air or hacking half a lung. Then it was the dog. Apparently he was barking at a dog on the television, offended the beast had the unmitigated nerve to stroll around his living room. Mutt bastard!

I added my little Army blanket to the bed, because the soles of my feet were freezing. Then I moved it up because the legs were feeling it too. Soon the thighs joined the cold front and eventually the whole body screamed out for mercy.

A blanket, a comforter and a wool blanket and it still felt like I was in the great outdoors, camping out and enjoying a little malaria. As if…

Eventually, I did get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. I awoke to the distinctive aroma of Mom’s beef stew. I made be a complete mess right now, but I am a lucky, lucky girl. (I love my Mommy!)

Poor Booboo: out for the count

2009-10-15T16:42:00.003-04:00

I hate it when this happens. I awoke in the kitchen, in the dark, shaking my inhaler…

It turns out a minute before I had been coughing violently -- the type of loud and shattering cough that sounds like it might unravel you if you were a line drawing -- and Mom had instructed me to go give myself a puff off my inhaler. Half asleep, I obeyed, but I was on automatic. And then, there I was on that cold kitchen floor, in the dark. That was a little disorienting. Whoa, this isn’t my bedroom!

It’s never a good thing to start the day with an episode. I puffed as directed, loaded up on liquids and rested, coughed up a hairball in catty fashion, and feel alright. It has been gray and wet all day, so hurray for taking a day off during an extra ugly day. I mean, it’s not like I was going to play hooky and go to the beach, but damn it looked depressing!

I hope I’m wrong about this, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a long, long winter. I also have a feeling there’s going to be new drugs introduced to my life. Not liking my prospects right this second.

Searching for bloodsuckers

2009-10-12T18:06:00.004-04:00

If the search for bloodsuckers would mean I'd get a Jacob, say, it'd be awesome! But nooooooo.... What we have here is a case of what can best be described in the words of one of my favorite heroines, Buffy Anne Summers, “I think I speak for everyone when I say, ‘Ewwwww!’”

I awoke today, a lovely day off (thank you dyslexic dead Italian guy!), to news that the landlord has bedbugs. A bedbug debugging team has been dispatched. Of course, right now, despite having no reason for it, I am deep in the midst of delusional parasitosis. I know it is fully psychosomatic and I am ignoring it because it’s my mind going nasty places. Stupid brain!

I am not particularly worried about it, but considering how graciously our neighbors have shared other pests, it wouldn’t be impossible that this too may have befallen us. I can say with certitude that we do not have an infestation in our apartment because no one here has been bitten – unless ours are polite little f*cks who live here and go feed elsewhere. Bugs are not quite that magnanimous.

The fact remains, my opinion notwithstanding, there will be strangers in the house heating up the joint and catching nasty blood suckers: Happy Halloween!

Recreating Magic

2009-10-11T20:59:00.002-04:00

Dinner tonight is a recreation of a single moment two decades back, it involves a fisherman cooking at the beach. Fried snapper with a creole sauce (peppers, tomatoes and capers) and fried plantains with a garlic sauce.

There is something magical about eating a freshly prepared food, while your toes draw circles in the sand beneath. The sounds of a sizzling cast iron skillet, the cracking of plam tree bark in an old beat up drum, the jukebox in the small tavern blaring Fania Old Stars hits from your childhood, the crashing surf in the background. The smell of of the sea and the browning fish.

I wrote an accompanying piece for Barbara’s website and will post a link when it is up.

Easy going: day 1

2009-10-11T02:02:00.004-04:00

Dinner was a simple affair Saturday evening. It took less than 20 minutes to finish and it was restaurant quality, I like that in a meal.

I made linguine and sautéed flounder stuffed with crabmeat (about 7 minutes cooking time).For the pasta I made a basic dressing of olive oil, lemon juice, grated parmesan cheese, grated pepper and lemon rind, garlic powder and a whiff of basil.

The noodles absorbed the oil and lemon juice, the cheese became beads of richness sticking to the pasta, and the condiments added a nice little dimension of taste. It was simple but very elegant. The fish was mellow and flaky, a delicious complement.

Let the exorcism begin!

2009-10-09T22:03:00.002-04:00

There was a Trader Joe’s visit today. Not exactly what I had in mind because the plans had to be changed to accommodate some other inanity that did not quite work out the way it was sold. Whatever…

A minor culinary party awaits and will involve flounder stuffed with crabmeat, red snapper and shrimp tempura.

I have a small tub of tri-colored, baby sweet peppers which will very likely become a jar of chimichurri sauce for the snapper. The flounder will be a simple affair with pasta and an olive oil dressing. The shrimp will have a simple salad with baby heirloom tomatoes.

I have three days to exorcise the demons, vent the venom and reacquaint myself with my humanity. And I have snacks to go with that!

Just for a little bit I want to be loved and forget the rest. I promise to work on a new food column – if I find the inspiration ;)

The only idea is to leave all cares and atrocities behind us and move to a better place, and try to find a way to stay there longer. Or die trying while eating like queens.

Nothing to see here...

2009-10-06T21:32:00.002-04:00

I am restless and unhappy to the cellular level. Right now, I am unsure how to tackle it. Of course, it’s a matter of changing my perspective but I’m in a rot and it’s difficult to think about smelling roses when everything smells like evil and decay.

Life and fiction and soup

2009-10-04T16:28:00.004-04:00

There has been an epic battle inside my body lately that is kicking my ass. I'm waiting for John Williams to call and tell me he's done scoring the thing! The good guys seem to have gained ground, but the test is going outside and moving about effortlessly. I think I can…

Of course, part of the problem is a growing stress factor that is compromising my immunity, but I can only juggle so many things. I can be happy or curb homicidal urges – multitasking is not the best tactical option there.

To be sure that I was properly fortified, Mom made a fabulous soup that could literally wake the dead. Yes, it was *that* good: it could cure death as a condition. It was a soupy rice/stew with pork, rice, garbanzos, chorizos, capers, carrots and enough love to stop war.

Tonight, I am making pterodactyl wings (turkey wings). They are soaking in Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, garlic, oregano and a little oil. I was going to put them in the oven, but it is too hot for that. Instead, I’ll cook on the stovetop and serve with sweet potatoes.

In the meantime, I try to apply saintly patience even if all I have left is fumes to sustain me and hope that is enough until deus ex machina – I know, I know, we hate it when that happens in storytelling, but it turns out I am not as demanding in real life as I am with my sci-fi.

On the work front, we were asked to wear our favorite sports team tee shirts tomorrow as part of some strange celebration that I can’t quite wrap my brain around – it has something to do with customer service [?]. Whatever that is supposed to be about, it reminded me of years ago when I was a consultant at a high tech firm on Wall Street. They drilled into us at a staff meeting that a VIP client was visiting the following day and we were to all wear business attire. The office manager actually explained what business attire meant, in absolute detail, what she considered fashion dos and don’t’s. One of my co-workers looked gravely professional during the meeting and then as we broke it up said, “I suppose that rules out my ‘AC/DC rocks my fucking ass’ tee shirt…”

Rest and take plenty of fluids...

2009-10-02T21:32:00.001-04:00

Rest and fluids, rest and fluids, rest and fluids, rest and fluids.

Let me see, I sleep a lot and then, I’m pretty sure there’s something else I need to do… Dance in kitchen? No, counteractive to rest. Oh yeah, I gotta rest. Then I have to do something else. I don’t feel so hot, maybe I should call the doctor and try to get an appointment.

I already knew their voice mail message suggested that in the case of chest pain or trouble breathing to call an ambulance or to go directly t the emergency room. But now it also includes a reminder than if you have flu symptoms to stay indoors and get plenty of rest and plenty of fluids.

All things considered not a bad idea, there are a lot of kids that go there and those things are full of germs! They keep spreading swine flu in the schools. They even closed a whole bunch of them last year.

Note to self: rest, lots of fluids and don’t touch the little germinators, they might be cute but those things are deadly!

Curioser and curioser... Part Deux

2009-10-01T22:44:00.003-04:00

From day to day, I can’t tell whether I’m stuck in some bizarre hell dimension that approximates the joys and mood swings of junior high school with the showy cruelty of any given playground.

Alternatively, I receive the highest praise, scathing criticism, snippy words and the promise of a bright future, veiled threats and more mixed messages than dating a sexually-confused alcoholic passive aggressive chic with low self-esteem. And the bat shit crazy chic might be more fun!

Time bomb walking…

Act happy, dammit!

2009-09-30T19:52:00.002-04:00

I don’t react well to enforced gaiety. It’s not just the sheer hypocrisy of it, but the fact that anyone should feel that I’m nothing more than a pawn for playing “party”.

When I have something to celebrate, I do it with people I love and respect. When asked to join in such a thing, I do so with people who love and respect me as well. I don’t do anything for show. I don’t have time for that kind of useless bullshit. Life’s too short and I have already wasted enough of it.

So, of course, being required to attend and participate should go real well.

Imagine the interesting chit chat! Visualize the veiled hatred through gritted teeth!! Oh, yeah, I can’t wait!!!

An Evil Wind

2009-09-29T21:32:00.002-04:00

The winds came Monday evening, along with torrential rain, and I arrived home breathless. My little pump has been helpful but the lungs require more busting power, not a good thing… This week is going to be a challenge.

It was an awful night, full of nightmares and coughing and restlessness. On the other hand, some of those disjointed images are immensely entertaining (now).

There was a black log cabin, a few houses down from my great aunt’s old house in Jersey City (a place I go to in my dreams when I am in distress, but not as a comfort base, it is more the foundation of discomfort). The owner was an older gentleman with a giant graying handlebar mustache. There was a car ride and talk of an old apothecary. Then there was a rotund jester that kept appearing and disappearing, and he’d throw out these non-sense phrases, they were supposed to be funny but it could have been German because I never understood what he was saying.

I tried to get some sleep and rest, but those stupid phone bots kept calling about the runoff election. I was too tired to yell back, “I don’t care!” So I grunted a lot, and faded to back to black.

Hopefully my lungs will be ready to do battle in the outdoors tomorrow, the rest of the body feels ready right this second. If not, it’s going to be a very long autumn and a longer winter.

I'm back, baby!

2009-09-25T22:22:00.001-04:00

Joy.

I did my little trip to Trader Joe’s this afternoon. It was like a religious pilgrimage – without the guilt… It certainly brought an extra spring to my step today, not exactly the frantic ecstasy of getting a fix – it was more like the serenity one gets once we’ve embraced ecstasy. Or something like that, trust me, it was good and tingly!

A casual conversation with an acquaintance pretty much decided one of my menu items for the weekend: seafood paella.

The problem is that I was already hungry and every time I gave it a thought I kept adding ingredients. It was dangerously turning into a Zeffirelli production.

I managed to calm down enough to put it together in my head: shrimp, scallops, squid, flounder stuffed with crabmeat, chorizo, petite pois, pimentos and olives.

It is going to be spectacular!

Ignorance and Bliss wrapped up neatly

2009-09-24T21:49:00.002-04:00

I was running late this morning, though not fatally so. I called the office and moved on… I arrived earlier than I expected. This might have seemed like a bit of a downer, but I was happy: after all, it was Friday! I took a moment to do the happy dance in the kitchen.

It was well after 11 before I realized that, no, it’s Thursday. The crushing disappointment!

My mission was to clear a backlog of webmail and I went at it with zeal. I did it, but after hours (days) of this – bad grammar, bad punctuation (non-existent punctuation), typos and misspellings, awkward and unclear sentences, and lots and lots of whining – the effect was devastating. The rest of the afternoon, I kept using wrong words in speech. Every time I heard myself err in speech I cringed; so either my brain broke or I had a stroke, I don’t know which…

The day, again, went mercifully fast. And I again am left with the happy thought that tomorrow is going to be Friday! And come what may, this girl is making her appointed stop at Trader Joe’s.

Simple pleasures

2009-09-22T23:56:00.002-04:00

Remarkable morning: woke up to an annoyingly shrill alarm clock and I sprang up in bed. That does not sound like anything remarkable, except that I haven’t been able to do that for a bit. This was the first morning nothing hurt! So I kinda stopped in midair, like a cat, and thought, “Hey, I can do that?!”

I was dancing in the kitchen, playing air guitar because I could completely rotate my shoulder. I also shook my booty because I lost the pain in my lower back and it seemed like the appropriate response.

The day went mercifully fast and I thank TPTB for letting me blissfully emerge from the humdrum relatively unscathed…

I wanted to spread the joy a little and stopped at Sam’s so Mom wouldn’t have to make dinner tonight and just hang out with me. So we had an orzo and spinach salad, swordfish fillets marinated in olive oil, lemon and spicy peppers, and well grilled shrimp. Mom did make a little garbanzo, olive and red onion salad to wrap it all up.

It is the simple things that sustain you, baby.

Hmm, chocolate. Hmm, bacon.

2009-09-21T20:58:00.002-04:00

Some people win your heart at the first hello. Some might make you laugh; others will hold you in place as you fall to pieces. Some are likely to discover something amazing with you and that shared experience might carry you both for lifetime.

Then there’s this guy who promised me chocolate covered bacon and then delivered.

OMG!

The chocolate melted in my mouth, rich and sweet, then I bit into the salty and savory crunchiness of smoky bacon…

…and I will love him forever, no question.