I Want What Whistler Wanted

The last few years have become contentious on almost every level of existence. Tribalism has become a way of life. People take sides and firmly stand for their way and no other. Compromise, cooperation, compassion and civility—none of these things seem to be elevated in regular discourse any more, and it is not only in matters of political import. This is infecting all manner of communication.

People are distrustful and cynical. And sometimes it is disheartening and demoralizing. Not always, though. Sometimes it’s a blessing. 

I recently had an exchange with a prospective client. They had numerous questions because it was their first foray into self-publishing and hiring freelancers. I tried to answer their questions and guide them through the process, so they’d know what to expect, how long it would take, and the costs associated with several elements of the project.

At the end of over a dozen messages, they went silent for a few days. I followed up. They informed me that they decided to go with a different freelancer. I thanked them for letting me know and wished them luck with their project. My exact words: Thanks for letting me know. Best of luck with your book project, and happy holidays!

I received a message seconds later, in all caps.

>> WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? WHY “GOOD LUCK”

My response was simple: I meant that I wish you success with your book project and also wish you a happy holiday (whichever you celebrate at this time of year). As I typed my response, another text came through. Also all in caps.

>> YEAH, LIKE WE CANT DO GOOD WITHOUT YOU? IS THAT IT? THATS JUST SOME ARROGANT SHIT

I hit send almost simultaneously as their message popped up on my screen. (Sigh.) I took a deep breath and seriously considered whether to respond or not—it seemed useless to try to reason with this person. But I tried anyway, and wrote: Not at all! I only meant to wish you good fortune with your project.

Their final response was pretty much consistent with their previous messages, only slightly more nuclear:

>> YOU THINK WERE STUPID AND YOUR JUST A CONCEDED BITCH. FUCK YOU!!!!!!

I stared at the message, my inner editor bleeding internally (it was meta-suffering, y’all!). I chuckled and muttered to myself, “Well, bless your heart, I do concede!”

And there you have it: a blessing with an FU attached.

The thought occurred to me that this person may not have been serious about their project or about hiring me. Then the thought occurred to me that I was the fortunate one for not having to work with them—not during the holidays, not as a possible end-of-year project, in fact, not ever.

I’d like to think that I remained professional and dignified during our interaction, but mostly I am grateful that the trash took itself out and left me to have a peaceful and happy holiday. I wish you all the same . . . and good fortune in the coming year. Literally!

I Want Peace on Earth and Goodwill Toward Humanity.