January in National Thank You Month

January is National Thank You month. Personally, I’d never heard of it, but I find it interesting, especially because it seems like the little niceties that help shape a community—and a civilization—have been eroded in so many ways that they barely exist, except in fiction and poetry.

Gratitude is the acknowledgement that we have certain blessings in our lives, but saying thank you is directly attributing some of these to people who have brought these blessings to our lives, or who have been the very blessing that kept us going. It is about giving credit where it is due and expressing our gratitude simultaneously.

The lucky ones among us will have had the opportunity to thank those people who have meant something to us and our development. Of course, more often than not, those whom we owe the biggest thanks are not obvious recipients of that gratitude until years later.

Perspective is everything, and often we really cannot see the forest for the trees.

We don’t all get that Oscar or Nobel Prize speech moment when we get to take a moment to thank those whose love, support or influence got us to that point. Sometimes, because it may take us years to recognize the very love, support or influence, we are robbed of the opportunity to thank people first hand. People move on, they may be afflicted with dementia in old age, or die and make it impossible to share the moment they deserve.

A proper thank you, in my mind, comes accompanied with a strong handshake or a heartfelt embrace. But we all know that may not be possible, for some of the same reasons already mentioned.

I still think the traditional thank you note is the best way to thank someone for the gift of their time, their attention, their presence. A thank you letter may be more appropriate, especially if you have a lot to be thankful for.

But when distance, absence or death becomes a hurdle, I rely on two methods to express my gratitude: a letter (which will never be sent but whose content needs to be documented for posterity) or I simply imagine a conversation.

As an exercise the imagined conversation becomes a relaxing meditation and an almost palpable reminder of the person who has meant so much to you and your life. Depending on how well you can visualize, the thought of their voice, their smile, the warmth of their touch, their laughter, their guiding hand or example will give you something else to be thankful for: memories.

And as much as I relish my memories, what I’d like to stress out to you today is that you should take a moment every once in a while and reflect on the people in your life (those in the past as well as those in the present), and how they affect your life and your very being. If you recognize an outstanding individual, do not wait… Thank them. Thank them hard and long, respectfully and lovingly. It’s life affirming.