Earlier this week,
heartless assailants shot a young transgender woman to death in Puerto Rico.
They literally hunted her down and killed her. They recorded it and posted it
on social media, taking hatred, prejudice, and bullying to a whole new level of
assholery. (It’s a word and it is damned appropriate here!)
The whole thing is
heartbreaking, although there is a ray of hope in the person who, days before
her death, approached Alexa and befriended her, listened to her and tried to
counsel and offer her some hope. His subsequent interview with David Begnaud
both made me cry and feel tremendous admiration for this man, his generosity, and
capacity for love and acceptance.
I did not know Alexa, but
her passing brought back memories—some awful.
There have been LGBTQ folks
in and around my life since I was a child. The nomenclature has evolved, but
the important thing is that these are people. They’re just humans. Who you love
or how you love, how you identify in terms of gender, none of these things
should affect how others live their own lives. I still see no point in
attacking people for this. Let people be! Live your life and stop attacking
others for not living as you see fit. Mind your damn business! How hard is it
to mind your business?!
There have always been gay,
bisexual, and drag queens in the family—and they were mostly lovely people.
Those who weren’t lovely did not qualify for the “bitchy” label based on their
sexuality but strictly based on their actions towards others.
But I have also known
plenty of folks outside the family who fall under the rainbow banner. One of my
favorite singers of all time lived out as a lesbian for as long as I knew her
voice (since early childhood). And when I met her and she embraced me,
she did so because we shared a moment and also ideals that were larger than
just two women standing under the blue skies. She did not care about my
sexuality any more than hers affected me or my own.
In junior high school, I
met a young man who’d already been part of the drag world. She was a pageant
queen, and she confided in me that one day she wanted to be a real woman. And
back then, while scientifically possible, it was an expensive proposition
making it a pipe dream for most. Years after I’d left the island and returned
on a “secret” vacation, I once went to a restaurant/club of ill repute in San Juan and remember seeing a picture on the wall of one such pageant and I was
sure it was Angel finally wearing the crown she sought so fervently. But do you
know what I remember most about Angel? She was sweet. And she taught me how to
properly apply lipstick and blush. For a brief moment in our lives, she was my friend. Because
she was just a person and we connected as people.
In college, while attending
the Fashion Institute of Technology, my best friend introduced me to the
underbelly of gay culture in New York City. I loved dancing and the girls let
me dance unperturbed. Dancing without the constant threat of sexual harassment was
liberating and I loved them for letting me be part of the party!
I became friendly with many
of the young men and women, but after a while I moved on to new experiences and
new circles of friends. But that did not diminish the experience and I was
thrilled when I first watched the documentary “Paris is Burning” and recognized
some of the people I danced with or saw perform around town (from Better Days
to downtown dance clubs and bars), or hung out with… Suddenly on screen, Venus! I
remember smiling and thinking of nights hanging out at the pier downtown, where we’d
just line up and vogue and laugh and smoke and drink until the sun came up (or
the cops made us disperse).
Then there is that horrible
scene when we learn that Venus was found, dead--strangled and left under a bed in a sleazy hotel. She always took chances and sometimes she was so damned naïve.
When she should have listened to her inner red alert and experience fear,
instead she ignored the danger, thinking she could outsmart it, or she'd simply not recognize malice in the eyes of those who sought to hurt her.
Venus deserved better.
Alexa deserved better. There have been three decades in between these two young
women losing their lives. And we’re still making LGBTQ folks feel inferior and
treated as if they were lesser. They are not. They’re just people.
I don’t really have a
point. I can scream it until I am hoarse: THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE!
I just wish we could reach
a moment in which humanity would lose the need or the inclination to find
reasons to hurt each other. Live and let live. Those of you who respect others
keep on keeping on. The rest of you, please, just stop being evil. I beg you.
People do not owe you
acquiescence. If you believe in God, then let God handle his own children. And
if you don’t, let people be: don’t be an ass.
Some days humanity is just
exhausting. Right now, I am exhausted.
< /end rant >
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